We don’t need peace…
Oh! You cute commando
you cuddly lil’ guy
Shock and awe warm my heart
when your armoured unit passes by
Could an Arab make, or even understand, a keepsake so delightful? One so collectible? The essential goodness of our culture is included with this spunky soldier of the Super-Duper-Special Forces. Batteries are extra.
Direct liberty-guided missiles, bring sweet death from above. Bear the gifts of liberty and Jesus with stern paternal love. Level towns and cities, air raid sirens hailing freedom, mingled with children wailing, clinging to the corpses…
Survivors give thanks for deliverance and Christian charity, and pick through the rubble for scraps of food and stray body parts. In our land of plenty we have literally hundreds of cable channels — we watch them all, except the porno. What do Arabs know of microwave ovens?
Who’s side are you on?
Think about it.
The enemy kills senselessly. It has no conscience. You can bet that Saddam has kept a tight grip on Iraq’s garage-door opener technology. When we kill men, women and children, we do it for a reason. That reason is classified in the interests of security.
The Arab has no regard for human life. It’s in the Koran. Our collective conscience aches for every American soldier in harm’s way. We rescued a prisoner of war. It was a woman. She was cute. We shall prevail. Our agonized hearts demand relief from our suffering. Have you noticed our resolve? We expect superior customer service from minimum-wage staff. We are a beacon light shining for oppressed peoples everywhere. We don’t want to pay for parking. We travel the globe without learning local languages, armed with powerful currency and all-inclusive tour packages. If the resort staff don’t like it, they can go back where they came from.
We don’t need peace when our wallets are full and our hearts are overflowing with love.